| My Dear Josh:
How I wish I had known you in person!! You were such a handsome young man, and an image of your wonderfully kind father. Your pictures here with your smiling face and your strong physique along with your warm heart, I know, made everyone love you!!!
I want you to know, that though the drugs took ahold of you and you were not able to let go of them, you didn't mean to hurt yourself, or your family and friends, and I know too that you suffered tremedously in trying to beat the devil off of your back. YOU TRIED EVERYTHING, but the drugs were too powerful!!!! Your poem says it all, and I am so deeply touched by it. I will keep it forever and will share it every time I have an opportunity to do so, because I know that this is what you would want!! I also want you to know, that because of your life, your Dad, with having you you in his heart, is helping others who also have a need because this is also what you would have wanted, were still amongst us. But...Josh, it is because of you, that my grandson has been helped!!! He is a desperately needy young man because he also lost his own Mom to the scourge of drug addiction. Your Dad and Leslie, have been so generous to help him with money, overwhelming kindness and concern, and as a result, I have the precious gift of their friendship for a life time!! I keep looking at your beautiful pictures, and think what great friends you and my Ryan would have been. He is as handsome as you are, and I adore him with all my heart, the same way that you will always be adored. Thru your family, and because of the same struggles that you and my Tracey battled, I feel like I know you as well, and have known you for a lifetime!! One thing is for sure, and that is that you are in my heart now forever and ever.
Josh honey, I have a strong belief in God, and because I do, I have no doubt that you are in Heaven with Tracey, along with the countless other young people, who suffered the same as you did. I also know and believe that you, Tracey and the rest who are with God, are now Angels who watch over us, and lead us in the path we should take, while we are still here. In Heaven, there is no more sorrow and no more tears, and while our hearts are aching because we miss you so, we have been assured that we will be together again, in the mansions that God has prepared for all of His beloved children. We will have no more memories of those very hard days, when we had to stand by and watch your misery. While we don't understand it all, I am convinced that God could not watch His children suffer any longer, and He took you Home to be in his loving arms, where He knew, before the foundation of the World, that you would find perfect peace!! As an aging and ill grandmother, with lots of life experience, I have learned that dying is not hard, but living in this world sometimes is. It is only hard on those of us who you left behind! Josh, I am so very proud of you, because you faught very valiently, and though you didn't win this battle, God has already won the war, for all of us!!! I thank you for all the joy you added to this world, while you were passing thru on your way to eternity, and I am so looking forward to meeting you in a far better place, along with my dear Tracey. It is not at all difficult to say that I love you, because you have already occupied a very special place in my heart. I thank you eternally for being the loving son to your parents, and a great brother to your siblings.Because of all the love you had in your heart for them, today, on your behalf, they can show love to other young people in the same way you would have.In the still of the night I hear the soft flutter of your angel wings, and in the beautiful flowers I see a small part of the beauty that you see today. If I listen very hard, I can hear your small voices, reassuring us that you are far better than you ever were, and telling us of the immense love you have bestowed upon us in so many ways. Most of all, I thank the Lord that he saw fot to give you to us for a season, as our lives would not have been complete. When our time comes to be carried Home, you will greet us at Heaven's gate and we will have a reunion unlike anything this world has ever seen, and we will be together for eternity sitting by the river of gold. What a glorious day that will be!! We know that you would never have chosen to fall into that terrible pit, but the devil himself took all of your choices away. It was not your fault, and you have been forgiven to the point, that in God's perfect timing, we will remember only the good and wonderful children that you are. In our humanity we are weak, and because you are stronger than ever now, we will draw our strength from you, until the days comes when you and all the angels in Heaven will welcome us too, into His Kingdom. Until we meet again, I will continue to hold you very near and dear to my heart!! All My Love always, Ms. Aggie Sparnecht, Tracey's Mother, 5/28/58 - 4/4/04!!! I ask a very special Blessing on your family, Ryan and my little Sloanie as well, and I thank you for watching over all of us, and keeping us safe in God's care!!! |